

What?! Wayne Rooney’s Derby County took on Manchester United this evening. Someone should have mentioned it!
What’s that? They did? Oh yes, now I remember. I think I saw something on Twitter about it. Silly me.
Yes, that’s right, United’s all time top scorer faced his former club this evening and it could not have gone worse. Derby fell to a 3-0 defeat, with a brace from Odion Ighalo and a bizarre goal from Luke Shaw earning the Red Devils an FA Cup sixth round meeting with Tottenham-slayers Norwich later this month.
Before all that went down though, United’s announcement of their starting line up attracted a smattering of outrage. As usual, the supporters’ principal grip was the continued absence of Angel Gomes, who is a real favourite among the Old Trafford faithful.
Also, Jesse Lingard. Always Jesse Lingard.
PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND HOW LINGARD STARTS BUT GOMES DOESNT EVEN MAKE THE TEAM
— 黎 (@likeitlmao) March 5, 2020
Jesse Lingard starts again! More chances than a cat. Has to deliver tonight. No wonder Gomes wants out
— Mark Goldbridge (@markgoldbridge) March 5, 2020
United began sluggishly and Derby fired an early warning shot when Louie Sibley struck a 25-yard drive just past the post.
Many thought it was in, and Red Devils fans were not best pleased with their side’s slow start.
this Sibley kid for Derby is a Ward-Prowse x Luke Chadwick lovechild
— -__- (@krn_brk) March 5, 2020
10′ OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Sibley fires wide from just outside the box. Wonderful work from Bogle to dribble, fight for the ball and then release it.
Cocu wanted his team to play “some positive football”. Ten minutes in, they’ve done that. Long way to go yet mind.
— Ryan Conway (@RJConway92) March 5, 2020
Soon after, Sibley broke free again with Shaw bringing him down to gift the Rams a free kick the edge of the area.
You can have one guess who stepped up to take it. That’s right, Martyn Waghorn.
Only pulling your leg, of course it was the man of the moment, Rooney. He almost scored as well, with his cute effort forcing a fine save out of Sergio Romero.
Have a feeling that freekick won’t be the closest Rooney comes to scoring this evening. . .#DERMUN
— 90min (@90min_Football) March 5, 2020
Beautiful technique by Rooney on that free kick, almost as good as mine‼️
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) March 5, 2020
After Derby’s early dominance, the visitors began to grow into the game with a rare mistake allowing Ighalo a sight of goal – though he could not find the finish.
Soon after, United did have an opener… and it was a really bizarre goal.
Latching onto a deflection, Shaw fired a volley into the ground which – via a Lingard deflection – ended up looping over Kelle Roos in the Derby goal.
I have never, ever seen anything like it.
Cue United fans on Twitter arguing about who should get the goal. Hate to break it to you people but that’s the Dubious Goals Panel’s job, not yours.
Lingard trying to claim the goal, bless him
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 5, 2020
How the hell can Lingard claim that goal ffs! Turns his back on it like a coward. No! That’s Shaw’s
— Mark Goldbridge (@markgoldbridge) March 5, 2020
Jesse Lingard has attempted four through balls in the first half so far. He has not had a single success.
— UtdArena. (@utdarena) March 5, 2020
Minutes after all this excitement, Ighalo doubled the lead – though he had more than his fair slice of luck in the buildup.
That didn’t bother his fanboys though, he continued to sing his praises on Twitter…
Odion Ighalo @ #MUFC
2 starts, 2 goals.
Ighalo FC: We eating jollof!
— Ovie (@OvieO) March 5, 2020
After the break, the game restarted at a leisurely pace with the highlight being an intense – if slightly petulant – physical battle between Scott McSauce and Sibley.
United Twitter was unsurprisingly very much #TeamMcSauce.
60′ – McTominay and Derby’s Sibley enjoying a feisty battle this evening #mulive
— utdreport (@utdreport) March 5, 2020
Scott McTominay teaching this Sibley kid how to be a shithouse whilst actually being good at football is quite entertaining.
— ً (@utdrobbo) March 5, 2020
The game eventually produced another talking point when Ighalo grabbed his second of the match, smashing home his own rebound to make it 3-0.
Yep, you guessed it. The fanboys were out in force again.
I love nothing more than seeing Ighalo score and succeed. Two goals tonight. Delighted for him.
— Liam Canning (@LiamPaulCanning) March 5, 2020
“Favour is better than labour.”
Ighalo has banged three goals for United in his second start. Star boy. Nigerian bred
Viva ighalo 礪#DERMUN pic.twitter.com/jh9ItQWe5j
— Tahir (@tahir_diablo) March 5, 2020
Then it came. The opportunity to write a Hollywood ending to the game.
Rooney stood over a free kick with minutes left to play – it was his final chance to mark his return with a goal. Even the United fans behind the goal were willing the ball to go in.
Once again though, Romero spoiled the fun by producing an impressive save. What a pleb. Even Rooney’s son was fuming.
Wayne Rooney tonight:
67 touches
46/52 passes completed
11/15 long passes completed
5 chances created
5 recoveries
2 shots on target (both FKs)He created more chances than anyone else on the pitch and this was one of them!pic.twitter.com/WuTeqAwtzw
— UtdArena. (@utdarena) March 5, 2020