Luis Suarez has had arguably the most action packed career of the modern era, both on and off the pitch. From the silly to the sublime, the biting to the diving – especially in front of David Moyes – and the sensational goalscoring, he’s never far away from the action.
Love him or hate him, there is no denying that the long term pantomime villain has had a stellar career. The Uruguayan has scored bundles of goals for Groningen, Ajax, Liverpool, Barcelona and Atletico Madrid.
Here, we looks at the top 30 teams who have suffered at the hands (and teeth) of the nippy talisman.
What better way to start the list than the man in question bagging all six – yep, six! – of his goals against Wezep in one game.
A fresh faced 22-year-old Suarez helped Ajax to a club record 14-1 win. All good practice for the buffets against Norwich that would follow.
Not quite six in one game, but Suarez did manage a hat trick against Wigan in 2013.
The Latics would be relegated later that season.
It’s six goals for Suarez against Los Franjirrojos, who are no doubt thankful that they only crossed paths on five occasions, even if they lost them all.
Suarez can be seen here linking with Messi in his debut season as MSN began to find their feet.
Another La Liga side to consistently suffer at the hands of the Uruguayan was Las Palmas.
Six in six mean the side now stuck in Segunda Division are probably content they don’t have to face him anymore.
Suarez got his Liverpool career off to a flyer against Stoke in February 2011.
Coming on as a substitute, the new Liverpool number seven scored to make it 2-0 in front of the Kop in what quickly became a weekly ritual.
Levante were another team sick of the sight of Barcelona and Suarez. They will, however, have relished their 5-4 victory over Barça that ended their opponents’ record of 43 league matches unbeaten.
However, Suarez would soon make them pay during a 5-0 mauling in their next encounter, helping himself to a goal.
Another example of a young Suarez terrorising defences in the Eredivisie.
Suarez can be seen wearing the captain’s armband here, as new Ajax boss for the 2009/10 season Martin Jol chose the 22-year-old as his on-pitch enforcer.
Three goals over two legs from Suarez saw Groningen dispose of Utrecht in the Europa League playoffs in 2007.
Suarez’s mullet may be long gone, but his extravagant celebrations have been present throughout his whole career.
Perhaps one of the luckier teams on the list, Real Sociedad only conceded six to Suarez in 13 games.
Having been kept quiet on eight occasions, Suarez broke his silence in 2018 when he helped himself to two beauties, helping Barça recover from 2-0 down to win 4-2.
Like Sociedad, El Submarino Amarillo have faced Suarez 13 times and didn’t win once.
Nine wins, four draws and six goals show the former Barcelona star always comes out on top in this one.
2015/16 was Suarez’s stellar year at Barça as Sporting Gijon would find out, shipping five to him over two games.
Scoring 59 goals in 53 games, Suarez was the star performer in MSN during the only year he managed to outscore Lionel Messi.
With 40 goals in 35 La Liga games, he also claimed La Liga’s Pichichi Trophy.
Seven goals in seven games typifies Suarez’s ruthless record against bottom half Premier League teams; nobody was safe.
He ended his run against the Black Cats with five goals in his last four games against them.
A special entry for Suarez.
Not only did he help himself to a hat trick on the last day of the 2015/16 season to reach the illustrious 40 league goal mark against Granada, but four years later he netted the first goals of his Atletico Madrid career as he came off the bench on his debut to score two and assist another.
Another home debut to remember, this time for Ajax against SC Heerenveen in 2007. Suarez’s first game at what is now the Johan Cruyff Arena saw him score two.
A year later, he netted again in the Europa League playoffs at Heerenveen’s expense.
The 2017 Copa del Rey round of 16 saw Suarez plunder his 100th Barcelona goal, managing the feat in fewer than three full seasons.
The Copa del Rey would be a firm favourite of his, winning it every year for the first four seasons of his Barça career.
VVV-Venlo’s troubles against Ajax started long before their jaw-dropping 13-0 defeat in 2020.
In 2009/10, Suarez scored seven goals in two games against Venlo, showing they have long been accustomed to shipping goals galore to De Godenzonen.
A team Suarez no doubt enjoyed playing against, winning all five meetings in the process.
De Graafschap were happy to see the back of him after suffering a 5-0 loss courtesy of a Suarez hat trick before he left for Liverpool in January 2011.
Etched in the memory as one of Suarez’s best performances for Barça, Deportivo were on the receiving end of a masterclass.
Scorer of four goals alongside three assists, Suarez was in sizzling hot form. This game was followed up by his quadruple against Gijon, becoming the first player in La Liga history to score four goals consecutively.
Another team that had to sit back and watch MSN in full flow.
It was against Celta Vigo that Messi and Suarez succeeded where Robert Pires and Thierry Henry had failed, the former setting up the latter to smash in from the penalty spot.
Suarez enjoyed a goal against Atletico, where he now plays. He bagged both strikes in the first leg of the 2016 Champions League quarter final, although Atletico went on to win the second leg 2-0.
Other than that, Diego Simeone’s team managed only two wins in 18 against Suarez.
Suarez scored against Vitesse for both Groningen and Ajax, playing them eight times in total.
With nine goals, Vitesse managed to keep him quiet on only one occasion.
Yet another team to be on the receiving end of a Suarez hat trick in the 2015/16 season.
In eight games, the Uruguayan scored ten.
2009/10 saw Suarez net 35 goals for Ajax in only 33 games, as Roda JC became another member of the ever growing list of clubs to have conceded four to him in one match.
In truth, Espanyol didn’t do that badly to have conceded only ten goals against Suarez during his prime years.
Unlike some of the other teams here, Espanyol were unlucky enough to be tested 15 times by the feisty forward, so his tally of ten could be a lot worse.
Real Betis didn’t do so well. Shipping 11 goals in only eight matches, it’s fair to say their defence struggled to contain Barcelona’s former number nine.
He scored a hat trick against them in the 2016/17 season opener, picking up where he left off from his golden boot campaign the previous year.
Willem II kept him quiet at Groningen, but Suarez managed hat tricks against them twice during his Ajax days. All 11 goals came in just seven Ajax games.
The big one. Barça and Atletico fans will both revel in the fact that Los Blancos are one of Suarez’s favourite teams to play against.
He bagged a hat trick against Real in 2019 and also managed a brace in 2015/16.
Barcelona have made Sevilla suffer in recent years.
They were beaten finalists in the Copa del Rey twice, the UEFA Super Cup and the Supercopa, in no small part down to Suarez and his goals.
Suarez lost only once to Valencia in 14 appearances and scored 12 in the process. They became another victim to concede four goals in one game to him.
Suarez only played six games against them and yet managed 12 goals, despite blanking in their first meeting.
Suarez will look back very fondly on playing the Canaries and John Ruddy, whose nightmares he probably still haunts, having netted two hat tricks and a quadruple.
He also only seemed to score absolute corkers, too.